Panic attack.. Again..

This morning around 2am I woke up with my heart race like crazy, my hands was shake, and it was difficult for me to breath. I walked to bathroom for number 1, usually my heartbeat will be slower after I pee. My panic attack sometimes come just because I need to pee while I'm sleeping. Ghos.. My body really have problem with it's alarm! -_-"

After peed my heart was still racing, I know I was dehydrated because my mouth was so dry. Many times I got panic attack because my body lack of water -_-" I walked to kitchen area and grab a cup, tried to mix cold water with hot water from water dispenser but my hands was shaking, I spilled hot water on my foot. My reflect was to jump backwards. But I left the hot water flow.. 😭 I turned it off as soon as I realize it. God.. Last night was terrible!

After drank few cups of water I walked back to my bed, set up my fave movie and put my earphones on, watched that movie help me to distract my attention from my panic condition. It's been more than 10 years, but every time I get panic attack it's always terrible experience..

Winter in Xi'an

It's December already...
Winter.. Winter.. Winter...

I hate winter at some point. My skin and lips are dry and will start cracking if I don't use moisturizer. It's freaking cold outside, make me feel reluctant to go out.. even for groceries shopping. Our heating system is less hot compare to last year, so I still need to wear jacket inside the house.

The good thing about winter in Xi'an this year is, the pollution is lessen. This last few days was sunny.. I could see the blue sky. Last year at the same time, the sky was covered with SMOG (smoke and fog). I must wear face mask to protect my self every time I left the house. I hope this better air condition will last until the end of winter ^.^

BTW according to weather forecast, there's a chance of snow today... yay! I hope that's true! The first snow for this winter time ^_^